So you have decided to get married and thus you are now engaged, but you have no idea where to even begin your journey to the alter. Whether you are planning a shotgun wedding (within two months of getting engaged) or you are wanting to enjoy being engaged for a couple of years, the very first thing you need to do is choose your wedding date. Choosing your date before even starting any other wedding plans is going to save you from a lot of stress and is going to make a lot of planning easier down the road.
A Brief Personal Experience:
When my Fiance, Ian, and I got engaged, the very first thing I did was consider what day we would be having the wedding (I believed this to be a common practice among engaged couples that this should be the first thing). We knew that we wanted to get married soon instead of having a long drawn out engagement. Throughout my life I have watched many, MANY, wedding related TV shows and movies and so I already knew that, for the type of wedding we wanted (super simple yet still very classy) it would take at least 6 months to plan. We got engaged in April so 6 months from then would have been November. Now my birthday is in November and so is Thanksgiving, Ian's birthday is in December and so is Christmas. So putting that into consideration we quickly realized that adding a wedding to an already busy time of the year was not ideal. So we decided January 25th 2019 was the day.
I chose January 25th because my Great Grandmothers birthday was the 27th, so to honor her and also bring back some happiness back to the occasion after her passing, I decided to set the date just around her birthday. I chose to have the wedding on Friday the 25th instead of Sunday the 27th because I also knew that weekend weddings were more expensive than weekday weddings.
After choosing the date, (and setting a budget, which will be explained in another post) I started making appointments for our wedding venue and my wedding dress. When we rolled up for the venue tour, the owner of the venue asked if we had set a date. (Now I stated before that I believed that having your date set already was the first thing any couple does after getting engaged, I thought it was a no brainer.) When she asked me that, I simply said "Yes, January 25th 2019." I could tell she was surprised, but not only was she surprised that we had already set a date but also that it was still about 8 months away! This venue is not just a wedding venue though. They do a lot of birthdays and other celebrations. So I just figured since she had not dealt with too many weddings that she was just not used to booking an event so far in advance, so I just shrugged it away. It wasn't until we went wedding dress shopping that I realized, choosing a wedding date is not commonly the first thing a couple does.
When we went to the salon, our consultant politely asked the usual question, "So when is the big day?" Still 6 months away I replied with the date. She then asked when we got engaged and if we already had a venue. I explained to her that we had just gotten engaged about a month and a half earlier and that we did, in fact, have a venue. Her eyes got big and I got nervous until she said, "WOW, you are so organized I can't believe you already have the date and a venue planned out and now you are getting your dress!" This had me shocked. All this time I thought that I was a normal bride getting things done, when in reality the common ones are the brides who either wait until the last minute or book venues and buy dresses before they have even set a date. (LADIES!! Wedding dresses are NOT cheap! What if you order the dress and you still aren't getting married for a few years and then the dress doesn't fit you anymore or its no longer the style you like?!?) Set your day BEFORE you do any other planning!
Reasons why you should choose your day first:
There a A LOT of reasons why you should choose your date before you do any other wedding planning. To name a few, it will serve as a timeline for when you should be getting certain things done. It gives you a due date so that you can stay on top of deadlines, schedules, and your budget. It gives you an idea of what your theme might be. Maybe you want a tropical theme, and then you set your date in the middle of winter during the worst snow storm of the year. There is a lot less stress in setting your date already. You can send out saved the dates so that your guests know when to take time off of work. Etc.
How do you choose a date? I am glad you asked!
If you read my personal experience then you know that I planned my wedding in 8 months, but could have planned it in 6. Six months is usually the minimum for planning a wedding that has all the bells and whistles. The reason is simply due to scheduling and payments. Venues cost a pretty penny and usually need a down payment, having 6 months helps pay that off. Wedding dresses (As well as other wedding party attire) can take anywhere from 4 months to 6 months to even come into the store to be altered, then altering takes about a month to 2 months. (This is a rough estimate and I will go over other timelines in other posts). Guests coming from out of town will need an advanced notice so they can plan a trip to attend your wedding. Now some of these things can be done in a shorter amount of time but it will either mean more money, or being more flexible on what you want. If you choose to go with more time on planning this gives you a lot of time to get exactly what you want.
Details that your wedding date may have an unexpected impact on.
Here are my top five things that your wedding day will impact while you are planning.
- Cost. I know what you are thinking "How can one day effect the cost?" well I have been asking Disney that for many of years with no answers, but here is how it effects your wedding day. This is one of those things that some brides overlook. There is this thing called Wedding Season. Wedding Season begins in mid Spring and ends in mid Fall, and peaks in the months of June and September. During this season, wedding related venues, vendors, and even wedding decor will cost you an arm and a leg. Supply and demand. Since so many couples want to get married during this time, wedding vendors tend to make their prices a tad higher. Why? Lets say you hire a DJ and that same DJ is asked to do 5 other events that same night. Knowing that this might happen, he decides to charge you a bit more to see if you are really serious, and also because it would mean missing out on other events that may have paid a higher price. On the other hand, the off season can add to cost as well, in places like floras, and decorations that are no longer in demand or in season. Ways to get around this would be to choose a weekday instead of a weekend, ask for off season discounts, and try not to want something that is not in season.
- Flora. Flora or flowers, are seasonal (I know, "Duhhh") but I am not just talking about living flora I am also talking about the artificial stuff. You may have a hard time finding those pretty flowers you saw at Michael's in the spring, when you go to purchase them in the fall. You can purchase them online (or if you are going with the real deal you can ask the florist to import them) but, it may cost you an out of season price. Suggestion, if you are absolutely certain on one form of artificial flowers, and they are on sale now, buy them now! As for the real stuff, keep in mind what will be in season for your wedding.
- Weather. (Yes yes, another "duhhhhh" but hear me out.) While you might be thinking of course the weather changes depending on the season you may not be completely aware of how that will affect your wedding day. For summer weddings, it is going to be hot, maybe even humid. Remember this when you consider the dress code for your guests. If you want suit and tie and your wedding is inside, you may still want to have some water bottles on standby for the guests who are walking from their cars and may not be used to the weather. The last thing you want is Uncle Jim from Montana to walk into your ceremony hall in California and faint from heat exhaustion. In the cold months like fall and winter, there is always the chance for rain and snow. If your wedding is still outside, maybe have some blankets for your guests or have a bon fire going.
- Honeymoon. Yes your wedding date will affect your Honeymoon. If you are having a wedding in winter, that tropical getaway may not pan out. If you are looking more forward to the Honeymoon than the actual wedding and you already know where you want to go, plan your wedding when the opportune travel weather will be.
- Lastly, Travel. Travel for the actual wedding is something you may want to consider when you are planning your wedding. Whether it is for yourself or your guests, keep in mind the time of year. If you want your wedding around a holiday, keep in mind the traffic. If you are having your wedding in winter and your relatives are coming from areas with high snow volume they may not want to take the trip. If they have to fly, their planes might get delayed. At the end of the day, you can either care about who is at your wedding and who is not but if Uncle Jim is coming from a snow storm in Montana and he is a VIP guest at your wedding, you may want to take travel into your consideration.
At the very end of it all, it is still your day and you can choose how to plan the darn thing however you want to. These are just my suggestions and opinions based on my personal experiences.
Thanks so much for reading and have a fantastic day!
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