:To Hire a Wedding Planner or DIY?

No not "The Wedding Planner"  the movie starring J-Lo. There are real life people who plan weddings and other events for a living. 

You may be completely unsure on how to even begin planning a wedding or you may not even feel like going through the motions that is wedding planning. This is where hiring a Wedding Planner may come in handy for you. Before deciding whether or not to get a wedding planner you should follow the first two steps I suggested in my other posts, especially the budget one. Wedding planners will either take a percentage of your wedding budget or they will have an outright price that you yourself may want to include in your overall budget.

A Brief Life Experience Story
I actually debated for about an hour on whether or not I wanted to hire a wedding planner. Now I wasn't debating because I didn't know anything about planning a wedding or that I didn't want to. I simply considered it because I knew it meant that I had someone on the day of the wedding who will coordinate the day and decorate the venues while myself and my wedding party only had to worry about getting ready and being on time. I chose not to for a couple of reasons, the first being that my Maid of Honor had recently gotten married and I knew I could count on her for anything, and the second reason being it just simply was not in my budget to pay someone to help me plan my wedding.

What does a Wedding Planner actually do?
Well a wedding planner is simply there with you and your fiance every step of the way. They are also going to help you stay on budget and even tell you, with tough love, "No you can't have this because it is not within budget." (Even after saying that they cant force you not to buy something.) They will set up appointments for you with venues and bridal salons. They can help you find the perfect hair and make up professional. They can be there to help you envision your theme for the wedding and so much more. Like I said, on the day of the wedding they are your wedding coordinator. Making sure they greet guests and everything works out smoothly so you do not have to stress out on the big day.

They can also be there to see things that maybe you don't. For instance, you told them about this venue that you absolutely love and so they go with you to check it out. You are in love with this venue, it is within your budget, it seems perfect. However, your WP notices that they do not have a back up plan if it rains and the ceremony is outside. Your WP will point it out and help you make the decision to either rent a tent which may be out of your budget or to keep looking at venues.

They also manage the dates for you and keep you on schedule with your planning. Maybe there was an appointment you forgot to put in your calendar, your wedding planner with contact you and remind you several days ahead of time. They will also call to confirm the appointment so you do not have to.

You are going to wind up spending somewhere between $1,000-$3,000 on them so they will make sure they are worth the money and be with you whenever you need them. (I mean, they better, they aren't cheap.)

If you are like me and you feel confident in wedding planning and want to plan your own wedding then you can just simply DIY; but, hiring a wedding planner does have its perks. It is simply up to you to do the research on who is in your area that can help you plan your wedding.

I hope this post was helpful in figuring out if you really need or want a wedding planner.

Thanks so much for reading and have a fantastic day!

 

:How to figure out your budget

"Money makes the world go 'round." or so they say. While money isn't everything, it is what will pay for your wedding.

Planning a budget can be a bit difficult. You may be thinking you want a certain kind of wedding but  what you may not know is how expensive that idea might be. In the United States of America, the average wedding budget (ceremony and reception and everything in between) is $27,000. Yes, I said $27K. Now you may be thinking, "Wow only 27K?" or you may be thinking, "That is a down payment for a house!" No matter how you see it, weddings are not just a few hundred dollars. On this post I will be giving you a guide to figuring out what budget you want to set. 

A Brief Personal Experience Story:

If you have read my post already about "How to choose your wedding date" then you know that I planned my wedding in 8 months and also that I grew up watching just about every wedding related TV show or Movie. After setting the date I knew the next thing was to figure out what my budget should be. I knew that the average wedding was over $20,000 and for myself and my fiance, we knew that even if we had that kind of money just off hand, it would be used for a down payment on a house. Realizing this, I took to the internet and found a few stories of having a wedding on a budget. Out of curiosity I asked a few of my friends who had recently gotten married, how much their budget was and what the actual cost turned out to be. Most of the ones who replied said they only spent $15,000. Now while that is definitely less than the average, it was still not quite what I wanted to hear. That is when another friend told me her budget was just to keep it under $10,000 and wound up only spending around $7000, give or take a few hundred dollars, I thought that that sounded amazing. So as a guide I decided to set my budget at $7000 and we are now 2 months away from the wedding, and the budget still has some wiggle room! I will let you know the final overall cost once everything is said and done.

Budget guide:

Now this is not to say that your wedding cannot be at lower budget. I have seen many videos and blogs about brides having weddings under $3000. All this really means is that you need to keep an open mind as to where you want to get married and what all the event might include. For instance, do you or someone you know own property with a beautiful backyard? Or, do they at least have a decently sized back yard? Do they own a barn (if you are okay with a rustic theme)? If the answer is no, you can also choose to have your wedding in a park. Parks will come with fees and permits and at the end of the day may cost around $600. Maybe having a private ceremony in a courthouse, and then having a big party at your place is more your style. Or, are you willing to spend a good portion on a venue and maybe go on the cheaper end with everything else? 

What I am getting at is that the venue(s) you choose to have the ceremony and reception at range from a lot of different price points with most of them in the thousands so this is where a good percentage of your wedding will go to. In fact there are 3 main areas where your budget will be spent, these are: Venue(s), The wedding gown, and food and beverage (f&b). Now while all three of these will eat your budget it is really up to you which order they go in. I.e do you care more about how much your dress costs versus the rest, or do you care most about the food and beverage, or do you care more about where you get married. 

Note: Some reception venues will actually include the price of food and drink in their overall price. They may even have packages for you to choose from. Some of these venues may even include your decor. We call these venues "All inclusive" to where the only things you pay for outside of this are things like your attire, the rings, the cake, the wedding favors, transportation, and other miscellaneous things. These "all inclusive" packages are great but they will take about 50% of your budget or more.

If you have Microsoft excel, it is actually pretty easy to use their Wedding Budget template. What I chose to do was print out a lovely budget chart that was pretty simple. It all really depends on whether or not you want to know down to the "T" on what everything costed you.

As for me I found a chart online with different sections (Ceremony, Reception, Attire and Beauty, Rings and Gifts, Stationary, and Miscellaneous.) In each section listed the different things and had an area to write the estimated amount and then the actual amount. This chart has really come in handy because I physically have it with me and not just on my computer. It also allows me to see where my budget is at all times and I am able to make adjustments to things where I can. 

There are still some things that are little hidden from the cost of the overall wedding that are a tad unexpected. Such as: 

• How much postage will actually cost
• How much your wedding favors might actually cost (What we originally wanted would have costed us about $300 when I had originally budgeted for $160 😐)
• The random unexpected things that you may want to rent. (We needed to rent drink dispensers and they were $27 each just to rent!)

Whether you are thinking of a big wedding or a small wedding and whatever budget you decide on, make sure you talk with whoever is paying for the wedding. If it is yourself, sit down and do some research on what certain things cost. Look at pie charts (...read a blog) to get an idea of what you might be spending. If it is your parents who are paying for most of it if not all of it, make sure you sit down and talk to them about how much you were thinking of spending. I know this one is kind of hard but it will be less of a headache later on. To help ease it, explain how much an average wedding costs and break it down such as "The venues I was looking at are in the $(xxxx) range. Wedding gowns can cost up to $5000" so on and so forth. Be real with them and ask them where they are comfortable spending. If they would like to spend less on these things, try not to argue with them, it is YOUR day but it is THEIR money. (I asked my mom what our budget was for my dress and I was pleasantly surprised with her answer and we got the dress right on budget.)

At the end of the day getting your budget set and in WRITING before putting down any down payments on venues is going to keep you on track and on budget. 

Thanks so much for reading and have a fantastic day!

:How to Choose Your Wedding Date

You have decided to get married! Congratulations! What's Next?

So you have decided to get married and thus you are now engaged, but you have no idea where to even begin your journey to the alter. Whether you are planning a shotgun wedding (within two months of getting engaged) or you are wanting to enjoy being engaged for a couple of years, the very first thing you need to do is choose your wedding date. Choosing your date before even starting any other wedding plans is going to save you from a lot of stress and is going to make a lot of planning easier down the road. 

A Brief Personal Experience:
When my Fiance, Ian, and I got engaged, the very first thing I did was consider what day we would be having the wedding (I believed this to be a common practice among engaged couples that this should be the first thing). We knew that we wanted to get married soon instead of having a long drawn out engagement. Throughout my life I have watched many, MANY, wedding related TV shows and movies and so I already knew that, for the type of wedding we wanted (super simple yet still very classy) it would take at least 6 months to plan. We got engaged in April so 6 months from then would have been November. Now my birthday is in November and so is Thanksgiving, Ian's birthday is in December and so is Christmas. So putting that into consideration we quickly realized that adding a wedding to an already busy time of the year was not ideal. So we decided January 25th 2019 was the day. 

I chose January 25th because my Great Grandmothers birthday was the 27th, so to honor her and also bring back some happiness back to the occasion after her passing, I decided to set the date just around her birthday. I chose to have the wedding on Friday the 25th instead of Sunday the 27th because I also knew that weekend weddings were more expensive than weekday weddings. 

After choosing the date, (and setting a budget, which will be explained in another post) I started making appointments for our wedding venue and my wedding dress. When we rolled up for the venue tour, the owner of the venue asked if we had set a date. (Now I stated before that I believed that having your date set already was the first thing any couple does after getting engaged, I thought it was a no brainer.) When she asked me that, I simply said "Yes, January 25th 2019." I could tell she was surprised, but not only was she surprised that we had already set a date but also that it was still about 8 months away! This venue is not just a wedding venue though. They do a lot of birthdays and other celebrations. So I just figured since she had not dealt with too many weddings that she was just not used to booking an event so far in advance, so I just shrugged it away. It wasn't until we went wedding dress shopping that I realized, choosing a wedding date is not commonly the first thing a couple does. 

When we went to the salon, our consultant politely asked the usual question, "So when is the big day?" Still 6 months away I replied with the date. She then asked when we got engaged and if we already had a venue. I explained to her that we had just gotten engaged about a month and a half earlier and that we did, in fact, have a venue. Her eyes got big and I got nervous until she said, "WOW, you are so organized I can't believe you already have the date and a venue planned out and now you are getting your dress!" This had me shocked. All this time I thought that I was a normal bride getting things done, when in reality the common ones are the brides who either wait until the last minute or book venues and buy dresses before they have even set a date. (LADIES!! Wedding dresses are NOT cheap! What if you order the dress and you still aren't getting married for a few years and then the dress doesn't fit you anymore or its no longer the style you like?!?) Set your day BEFORE you do any other planning! 

Reasons why you should choose your day first:

There a A LOT of reasons why you should choose your date before you do any other wedding planning. To name a few, it will serve as a timeline for when you should be getting certain things done. It gives you a due date so that you can stay on top of deadlines, schedules, and your budget. It gives you an idea of what your theme might be. Maybe you want a tropical theme, and then you set your date in the middle of winter during the worst snow storm of the year. There is a lot less stress in setting your date already. You can send out saved the dates so that your guests know when to take time off of work. Etc. 

How do you choose a date? I am glad you asked!

If you read my personal experience then you know that I planned my wedding in 8 months, but could have planned it in 6. Six months is usually the minimum for planning a wedding that has all the bells and whistles. The reason is simply due to scheduling and payments. Venues cost a pretty penny and usually need a down payment, having 6 months helps pay that off. Wedding dresses (As well as other wedding party attire) can take anywhere from 4 months to 6 months to even come into the store to be altered, then altering takes about a month to 2 months. (This is a rough estimate and I will go over other timelines in other posts). Guests coming from out of town will need an advanced notice so they can plan a trip to attend your wedding. Now some of these things can be done in a shorter amount of time but it will either mean more money, or being more flexible on what you want. If you choose to go with more time on planning this gives you a lot of time to get exactly what you want. 

Details that your wedding date may have an unexpected impact on.

Here are my top five things that your wedding day will impact while you are planning. 

1. Cost. I know what you are thinking "How can one day effect the cost?" well I have been asking Disney that for many of years with no answers, but here is how it effects your wedding day. This is one of those things that some brides overlook. There is this thing called Wedding Season. Wedding Season begins in mid Spring and ends in mid Fall, and peaks in the months of June and September. During this season, wedding related venues, vendors, and even wedding decor will cost you an arm and a leg. Supply and demand. Since so many couples want to get married during this time, wedding vendors tend to make their prices a tad higher. Why? Lets say you hire a DJ and that same DJ is asked to do 5 other events that same night. Knowing that this might happen, he decides to charge you a bit more to see if you are really serious, and also because it would mean missing out on other events that may have paid a higher price. On the other hand, the off season can add to cost as well, in places like floras, and decorations that are no longer in demand or in season. Ways to get around this would be to choose a weekday instead of a weekend, ask for off season discounts, and try not to want something that is not in season. 
2. Flora. Flora or flowers, are seasonal (I know, "Duhhh") but I am not just talking about living flora I am also talking about the artificial stuff. You may have a hard time finding those pretty flowers you saw at Michael's in the spring, when you go to purchase them in the fall. You can purchase them online (or if you are going with the real deal you can ask the florist to import them) but, it may cost you an out of season price. Suggestion, if you are absolutely certain on one form of artificial flowers, and they are on sale now, buy them now! As for the real stuff, keep in mind what will be in season for your wedding. 
3. Weather. (Yes yes, another "duhhhhh" but hear me out.) While you might be thinking of course the weather changes depending on the season you may not be completely aware of how that will affect your wedding day. For summer weddings, it is going to be hot, maybe even humid. Remember this when you consider the dress code for your guests. If you want suit and tie and your wedding is inside, you may still want to have some water bottles on standby for the guests who are walking from their cars and may not be used to the weather. The last thing you want is Uncle Jim from Montana to walk into your ceremony hall in California and faint from heat exhaustion. In the cold months like fall and winter, there is always the chance for rain and snow. If your wedding is still outside, maybe have some blankets for your guests or have a bon fire going. 
4. Honeymoon. Yes your wedding date will affect your Honeymoon. If you are having a wedding in winter, that tropical getaway may not pan out. If you are looking more forward to the Honeymoon than the actual wedding and you already know where you want to go, plan your wedding when the opportune travel weather will be. 
5. Lastly, Travel. Travel for the actual wedding is something you may want to consider when you are planning your wedding. Whether it is for yourself or your guests, keep in mind the time of year. If you want your wedding around a holiday, keep in mind the traffic. If you are having your wedding in winter and your relatives are coming from areas with high snow volume they may not want to take the trip. If they have to fly, their planes might get delayed. At the end of the day, you can either care about who is at your wedding and who is not but if Uncle Jim is coming from a snow storm in Montana and he is a VIP guest at your wedding, you may want to take travel into your consideration. 

At the very end of it all, it is still your day and you can choose how to plan the darn thing however you want to. These are just my suggestions and opinions based on my personal experiences. 

Thanks so much for reading and have a fantastic day! 

DIY Millennial Bride: Introduction to my blog series "How to plan a wedding in a millennial world."

"Love, Wedding, Marriage", "First comes love then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage" We have heard it all and now we are at that age where we "need" to start thinking about marriage. But why? What is marriage? 

The millennial age is upon us. We are millennial's. My name is Samantha and I was born in 1993, which makes me a part of Generation Y, or as my father (a member of Generation X) likes to say "Generation 'Why'" meaning we are always asking "why?" Well I have come to the conclusion that he is absolutely right. We do ask that question, be it to authority or to ourselves, we are always asking "why?" Why do we have to wake up early for work? Why is the world round? Why do we live the way we do and not like other countries? We live in an age where we have discovered a lot of things to be facts, but the question is "why?" One of these "why" questions is, "Why should I get married?" 

For some of us girls we have never fully questioned getting married one day. Most of us have been dreaming about our wedding days since we were very young. Some of us, myself included, played dress up and pretended to walk down the aisle to the classic "Here Comes the Bride" tune when we were three years old. The question we should be asking ourselves, is what is marriage? Why do people get married? 

Marriage is a tradition that dates back well before the marriage license and the legality of becoming wed. Marriages before this time were not simply done because two people loved each other. Marriages actually started out simply as a form of bond servitude for a woman. Now note: I said bond servitude, which by definition still means a slave but, she was not bought and she doesn't wear shackles. It is more of a contract between the man and the woman's father, that he will take care of this woman until she dies and she will bare children so that both of their families will live on. Now back in these times every pair of hands was useful. Men were hunters and shepherds, woman were housewives, caregivers, cooks, and gatherers. For a man to give up one of his hands to be married to another man, it would cost something. In biblical times Isaac was a servant to a man for 7 years before he could marry the woman he loved, and in the end he was deceived. For some men it meant giving up a portion of his livestock, and for others it would even mean that they stayed with the woman's family and became another set of hands for that family. Marriage was not something that was born out of love, but more something that was born out of survival. This does not mean that the men and woman of this time did not love each other. They were bound by contract that they would live out their lives together. Wherever he goes, she goes.

 Later on, when civilizations began to flourish and the era of Monarchies began, marriage became a sign of partnership and uniting of two separate families. Whether you were royalty, nobility, or even a commoner, people married for status and property. Dowries were invented at this time where instead of just the suitor providing something to the marriage, the woman was now expected to have something to give. Now of course the woman did not own anything, it would be her father who would have to provide the dowry. Dowries would consist of either money, status, or property or a combination of the three. This meant that typically the wealthy would only marry the wealthy, the property owners would only marry other property owners or trade wealth for property, and the people of status would only marry those with status, money, or property. Kings married Queens, Princes married Princesses, and Princesses married anyone with a high enough status. Now what about the commoner? Well it was not necessarily forbidden for a person of common blood to marry someone of status, they would have had to be very much in love and willing to risk everything. Commoners were the only people who could marry without worry of money, status, or property because they had none to give. They were aloud to choose a marriage of love. 

It was during this time in which a legal document, known as a marriage license, became the only way to truly get married. The marriage license and marriage laws became active around the year 1100 in England. The church at the time deemed them necessary as a form of contract between the two families that the trade between the wealth, property, and/or status would be upheld. It is basically a piece of paper that not only states that these 2 people were bound by God and the law, but also so that the two families could not go back on what was promised. What this did was made the choosing of a bride or suitor more difficult because before this, the men would just shake hands on it, the couple would get married and then what? No money. So now the father of the bride and the suitor would have written documents stating the terms of the marriage and if it was agreed upon they would then take the documents to the Clergy who would then create a marriage license containing the agreed upon terms. The men would then sign the document. If either party would go back on their word they would have to answer to a court, this sometimes lead to an annulment. This is also during the time in which the idea of divorce became a practice. Still very much shunned upon, it would happen. The men would walk away embarrassed and the woman would walk away to be completely shunned by society and looked down upon for the rest of her life, even if it wasn't her fault.

Fast forward to now. Marriage licenses are still in effect but not in the same way as the 12th-19th century. Marriage licenses are no longer the right of the church but the right of the state which is why we now have to apply for them at the city halls rather than the church. (Even though they still need to be signed by someone who is ordained, either as a minister or a judge, or someone you know who has gone through the proper application.) It is no longer a contract between families for wealth, status or property, however it is a contract between the couple that states that whatever belongs to the individual now belongs to both the husband and the wife. This meaning that if the couple is to divorce, for whatever reason, the assets are then split between them (either in a civil manner or in a brutal court session). Now many couples, especially those who are wealthy, do not like this and came up with the idea of a "Prenuptial Agreement". A Prenuptial Agreement (or prenup) is an agreement signed by both parties that all assets acquired by the individuals prior to marriage will remain owned by the individual if the marriage is to fail (see https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-overview-29569.html for more details.) In a nut shell, this means that everyone keeps their own stuff. If a couple decides to go in on something however, with both of their names on it, it is still a matter of splitting these assets. 

If I had to give you one good reason why I believe people these days should really ask themselves if they want to even get married, it would be the idea of divorce. Now, you may be thinking, "We love each other, and even if we were to get divorced I am pretty sure it will be easy to split up our assets." You are being naive (again, my opinion). No one decides to get into a marriage thinking that they will one day go through a divorce (unless they are a gold-digger and convinced their SO not to get a prenup). This is where us as millennial's come in with our constant asking "WHY?" We have seen people get divorces, some of us have even watched our parents get a divorce. We have seen celebrity couples get married one year and divorced the next. We have been made to see that marriage is NO LONGER A LIFETIME COMMITMENT. Divorce is too easy these days. So many of us have decided to stay legally "single" and stay with our SO's as boyfriend and girlfriend (Or you whatever you choose to label, or not label, yourselves as) and enter into a domestic partnership. No legal papers, no divorce, if you break up it is not like you signed a contract stating that you have promised to stay together for the rest of your lives, and your assets stay your assets. And best of all (so long as you are living somewhere that recognizes domestic partnerships) you can have all the same government benefits as a legally married couple. 

So why get married and risk all of the above stated drama? 

Being married comes with its own ups and downs. There are legal benefits to being a married couple (google it). Most importantly however, the benefit of marriage is that you now have a best friend, literally forever. It means companionship. You two against the world. Yes, some marriages do not work out but, if you are willing to make it work and put in the time, they really do last a life time. 

I hope this helps you if you are having mixed feelings about marriage. Just remember, its okay to ask "Why?" 

Thanks for reading and have a fantastic day!